A reader sent this to me last week and though it was kind of…funny. Decided to post it for all of you to enjoy and discuss 🙂
The Breakup Letter
“Dear Leica M9,
This may come as a shock to you, but I have decided to leave you. I
still love you but I can’t live with you. I’m going back to my old
mistress Canon. She’s not as beautiful as you. I don’t love holding
her the way I love holding you but I cannot live a lie any longer.
I’m tired of missing shots because you’re too difficult to focus
accurately. I mean, you tell me you’re at your best wide open, but you
give me a hit n miss focus system, especially close up
I’m fed up of your crappy lcd screen. You’re so last decade.
And I’ve have enough of standing around waiting for you to let me know
what the image I just shot looks like. If I try to take several shots
at once, you take a hissy hit and make me wait and wait and wait….
And while I’m at it, how come that despite the fact you’re no slapper,
I struggle to get consistently steady images at 1/60. Mistress Canon
has no problem showing me the slow love with her fancy IS. You just
shrug your shoulders at me and make me feel inadequate.
I want to strangle you every time I lift you to my eye and you’re
still asleep. Why do you take so long to wake up?
And did I mention – you’re high maintenance too. Everything about you
is me, me, me. I had to buy a grip just to hold you right. Your lenses
are ridiculously expensive and did I tell you that Madam Zeiss is just
as good. There I said it, your not so special any more.
So I’m asking myself, what do we really have in common?
You’re really not that interested in landscapes
You’re incapable of close ups
You’re temperamental when it comes to portraits
You keep telling me that you’re a street walker. I’m sick and tired of
you dropping names like Henri Cartier Bresson. He was a friend of your
grand fathers. I doubt he’d be that impressed with you.
It’s true that you blend in when I take you out into the street, you
certainly do look the part. But the harsh reality is that I miss more
shots because you’re slow than I do with Canon because she wears
tattoos and gets noticed. In fact you draw more attention to me
because I need to fiddle your focus. Canon is just sooooo fast. Lift
But what has really broken my spirit is the fact that yet again I have
missed a shot because you couldn’t tell me that your lens cap was on.
That was a brilliant image I had, right in your self centred little
frame lines and I blew it because you couldn’t be bothered to let me
know you couldn’t see.
It’s not me Leica, it’s you!
PS – your recent little makeover hasn’t fooled me either. Taking your
badge off and asking me for €500 for your nip n tuck is just taking
the mickey. Goodbye!”
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